25 years seems like yesterday!

Twenty-five years ago my father passed away.  As a tribute to him, I am going to share a poem I wrote when I was still in high school.  I have shared this with few and found it tucked away in a journal I had.   I thought I could pay a tribute to the man who was everything to me for fifteen years of my life.

Seasons

Autumn leaves falling down,
as I see smoke on the ground.

I wonder if it's a sign of you Dad,
the smoke from your pipe during those

chilly dark nights,
when the leaves crunched at our feet.

Winter snow falling down,
on a cloudy night I see a star.

I wonder if it's a sign of you Dad,
shining bright in the pale moonlight

waiting for the snow to pass and the clouds to clear
 so spring will be near.

Spring rain trembling down,
just like the tears that drown my eyes.

I wonder if it's a sign of you Dad,
showing me your love is near

and telling me it's alright and not to fear. 

Summer sun so bright and hot,
keeping me awake on those restless nights.

I wonder if it's a sign of you Dad,
during those times you couldn't sleep

because the pain was at your feet.
When all you could do was pray

That the seasons wouldn't go away. 

The seasons change and how beautiful they are.

Each one bringing a new day, star, and year;
one without you.

But I know in my heart
you're as near as the words are free...

I love you DAD!

Love, Jenny

Short-term Goal!

Today as I was leaving school I had an idea! Wouldn't it be awesome if I could run the Syttende Mai run with my kids? Now that I am in the same school as them I could have that opportunity. I have not ran this past them yet, as I sure know what they are going to say (NO WAY).

So what will it take for me to meet this goal....lot of hard work and dedication! I think I have what it takes. I have been pretty faithful working out for the past month and a half. I have been getting up at 4:30 a.m., yes I know that would constitute as crazy; but if you know me-that explains a lot:) Now I think what needs to happen is I actually need to get on the treadmill. That is the scariest part!  Why?  Well let me tell you.

My cousin, Chuck, whom I love so much said to me once, "Who do you see on the treadmill, Jenny? Not fat people, skinny people." I was taken aback a little by those words, but you know he is right. The people you see running on the treadmill are not overweight like me. No, overweight people like me play it safe. We ride the bike, do the elliptical...keep it safe. Why? Well when you watch someone that is fit run on a treadmill, you feel a little guilty, that is how I feel! The insecurities seem to come out of me when I think about getting on the treadmill. I do remember a time when I did that and guess what...I was fit then!

Where does that take me now...well I know what I would like to say to my insecurities. Go to H*$#! Words are so much easier said than done. Seeing how Friday is a new month, I think I am going to try my hand at the treadmill! I don't think I am going to tell my kids yet about this goal that I have to run with them. I don't need them to laugh at me and tell me NO!

Well, when Friday comes and goes I will let you know how it went! I have 2 1/2 months to move myself to a walk to a run. Can I do it? We'll see! I set the goal. I do want to prove my husband wrong one of these days. He continues to tell me that I never follow through with anything.  I always start gung-ho on things and then I never finish! That hurts to hear. But, I am starting to think he is right. I need to change that! I started on this journey almost 2 years ago. Psyched myself up, started out strong... plateaued...went down the wrong road and ended up where I started! Back to zero...feeling miserable, full of excuses, and NOT happy about any of it!

Times are a changing!

Until next time, PEACE OUT!

Life took a Detour AGAIN!

Is it that I live in Wisconsin, or is it that I am like a pot hole and self-destructing? Detours, detours, detours....I have taken a detour on my journey and the road back is long and winding!

I was proud of myself at my last post! Now, over a year later....I can not say the same! I think I need to put my words on paper again and find the way back to the highway...the road that will take me to my destination!

I don't know what I need...support, emotional and physical! Words come out so easy...yet to do those things that we say, we must act....

It is now time for me to act!

I will be back and write some more. I am at the computer for Ms. Pollock's Language class and students are blogging, so I decided now is a better time that never! I guess thank you to Ms. Pollock...without students blogging, I probably would have just stayed on the detour and not jumped over the road block!\

Until next time, PEACE OUT!